9:14 PM |
I have often written of my dear town. Being Friday night, there is hockey and free skating. The rink is barely indoors- no heating, metal benches, dads in Carthearts. If you're lucky, you mom'll give you money for hot chocolate. There are herds of feral children there. I have to do the Supernanny thing and get down to their level, look in their eyes and explain that their behavior is not acceptable. Works pretty well, but sometimes, like tonight, I have to resort to tripping them. Truly. After one of them really falls hard, they decide to keep the shrieking to a minimum, the bench stamping at the other end of the rink, and their hurtling paths way above me. I looked one kid straight in the face and asked him where his mother was. She's not here, he screamed back. The rink is the mall of our neighborhood. Moms just drop their kids there for the evening and go for cocktails. As far as I can tell, absolutely no one is responsible.
If I remember correctly, one time the referee in a Junior Varsity game ejected some spectating kids. Or was it their parents? Recently, signs have been posted to remind parents of the value of good sportsmanship, and to basically say nothing at all if you can't say something nice.
If you've ever seen hockey dads, you understand that soccer moms are bush league. They ought to make dads wear helmets and pads, and then we can at least enjoy the spectacle, and perhaps score the performances. Mr. Smith a 9.5 in stick handling on Mr. Booth's head, defense scoring a meager 8.0. The guys who sell the hot dogs in the warm room will be the first aid crew. Maybe level of difficulty point bonuses. Maybe for a broken stick? Playing with no face mask? Getting up to check the check out of the other guy? The behind the back elbow slam? Sly tooth attack? Flipping feral child over shoulder? Oh, the possibilities! Think of the side betting!
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My town is special. I bet you don't have a Zamboni painted like a cow in your rink.
If I remember correctly, one time the referee in a Junior Varsity game ejected some spectating kids. Or was it their parents? Recently, signs have been posted to remind parents of the value of good sportsmanship, and to basically say nothing at all if you can't say something nice.
If you've ever seen hockey dads, you understand that soccer moms are bush league. They ought to make dads wear helmets and pads, and then we can at least enjoy the spectacle, and perhaps score the performances. Mr. Smith a 9.5 in stick handling on Mr. Booth's head, defense scoring a meager 8.0. The guys who sell the hot dogs in the warm room will be the first aid crew. Maybe level of difficulty point bonuses. Maybe for a broken stick? Playing with no face mask? Getting up to check the check out of the other guy? The behind the back elbow slam? Sly tooth attack? Flipping feral child over shoulder? Oh, the possibilities! Think of the side betting!
+My town is special. I bet you don't have a Zamboni painted like a cow in your rink.