5:03 PM |
Woke up very early to watch Royal Wedding. Very nice. Interested in which tiara she wore. Diana's wedding was better. My wedding dress had that big skirt and poufy sleeves like hers. Fortunately, no one called me a meringue. At least not to my face. Ah, the injustices of fashion trends. Ron the Hun has me doing penalty weights.
Having eaten all the salted caramels surrounding marshmallows that came in the mail from Etsy, I decided to get a pizza. They don't have delivery here, as here is nowhere near there. I never get pizza because my kid lives on it and I can't stand it in the kitchen anymore. Glad I did, though. Quick got gas. $83 for my sedan, after spending $68 this morning for truck fuel. Good thing Woody's full already or I'd have to sell my body or something. Anyway, I got to the gas station/mini-mart across from the hardware store, and smelled something burning, but not quite. Looked over and... farm machinery! Horst's Grain Roasting. Now I had never seen a grain roaster or even known that grain was roasted. So I asked. This is Melvin. Melvin Horst. Today was a good day for Melvin because he roasted 80 tons of soybeans. There are a lot of farmers up here, he said. Well, yes I know that, I thought. I live here. Our farms have dairy cows. They eat a lot. Up to 50 tons a months, said Melvin. The farmers grow soybeans and Melvin roasts them to get the enzymes out because they have protein in them. I don't know why this is an issue, but Melvin has been making a living for over 20 years roasting, so he should know. Last guy did it for 30 years. The roasted soybeans are fed to the cows, so the farmers are raising their cows' food right there. As we have poop trucks here, I know that the fields are fertilized with liquid cow manure. A regular cycle, this is. Melvin asked me if I had a farm background! I was proud.
Getting ready to go to Carlisle, so I thought I would just give Woody a little spin to get the kinks out. Woodie wouldn't. Goes with jumper pack and is ok after that, until the next day of course. Figured must be something wrong with electric. Already replaced coil and condenser. Decided to seek new battery. Driving to get some plastic tubs for all the Christmas wrapping paper still in my office, saw battery place. Closed. Cell phone number on door. This must not be a full-time business. Called cell phone. Will be back around 5 (!). Went back. Door has Closed sign on it, but door unlocked. This is Dave. He has lots of batteries. I asked for a new 6 volt, as the old one was put in when I was in Monteagle TN, about 1600 miles ago. I think they got it from a tractor supply store (this is not necessarily a bad thing). There are three sizes of 6-volt batteries, I learned. I wanted the big honkin' one. Dave asked me what size mine is, 10 or 11 inches? Went home. 9 1/2 inches. Checked what size would fit on shelf. Fifteen inches or so. Now even I know that a 15 inch battery would pretty much be a freak of nature, so I bought the 11 inch one. He has to charge me $15 for the insides because I didn't have a trade. I think this is an environmental thing. Tried to get cables off posts to install new battery. Nearly electrocuted myself. Dropped the wrench through the engine like a hot potato. It is still there. Called ex-husband to come tomorrow morning if I can't get up the guts to try again.
Driving on my "Save Our Country Roads" country road, saw an interesting truck ahead. The speed limit is 45 mph. I did 60 and still couldn't catch up. This is the tree where the semi collided into the hearse, and there is a bell. A really big, really shiny church bell. At first I thought it was a replica of the Liberty Bell, this being outside of Philadelphia and all. I don't really know it is a church bell. It could be one for a school or a courthouse or something.
Temporary tooth. Life is good. Tried to find good pair of black pants. Ever notice that when you are actually looking for something, it is impossible to find? Went to most expensive part of Neiman Marcus. Bad saleswoman. Life sucks. Moved down one floor. Nice saleslady, two pairs of pants. Life good again. Studs for son's first black tie event. This is Christopher. He is very nice. Life really good again. Gourmet marshmallows come. Yuk. Life is.. well, I don't know. On way home, neat farm equipment but minivan blocks my view.
Deadliest Catch. Everybody sucks. Captain Keith calls daughter Bug for good luck stuff. She says to pull out hair, hold it under your left nostril and think of what you want. Kinda funny visual. Sees rainbow. Knocks wood. Nothing. "Throwing darts at a dart board and not even hitting the wall." Partner boat almost finished for season. Captain Keith decides to go there even though he doesn't want to go on someone else's crab. Uh-oh. Time Bandit there. They are not friends. Keith has $2 million boat payment to make. Hillstrand has $50,000 Corvette payment to make. Keith decides to go ahead. Fuck it.CM captain says BOAT stands for blow out another thousand (I think that's right, it's the idea anyhow). Jake Harris gets turn as captain. Splits first buoy. That means he ran over it and has to back up. He says he looks like he's drinkin' and drivin'. Sorta funny because he was an addict last season. The Cornelia Marie is a big rig. Ripped another buoy off. Did ok after that. Turns out Jake is smoking weed. No more driving for him.
The Hillstrands shoot a buoy named for a former crew member. With an AK47. Bad juju gone. Not for me: stink bug in hair. Twice. Turns out not for them either. Serves them right. Gloated all last year.Seabrooke sucks as bad as everyone else. Junior fires one guy and threatens bait boy (greenhorn Kyle who served in Iraq for 15 months) with same fate. Kyle quits. Captain Junior shows nasty amputated finger from his first trip. Caught it in engine room. Taped hand to throttle because it was infected and he couldn't hold on. Fortunately, that was a while ago. Caught ton of starfish. This is bad because they are bottom feeders and compete with the crabs. Where there are starfish there are not crabs. It may not have been this boat, I can't remember. Now good crab. Seabrooke rocks again.
Captain Eliot on ratty Rambin' Rose under pressure to perform because it's his first time. Gets some small numbers but is really psyched. I like Eliot. Has to go in early and short or wait and have dead crab because processor changes his schedule. Sucks. Calls Sig. Sucks even more.
Kodiak doing well in Crab Count but still no footage. Captain really must have pissed some camera man off. Refuse to watch Hogs Gone Wild.
Go to grocery store. Free mac 'n cheese and 2-liter of Coke with rotisserie chicken purchase. If that wasn't great enough, two absolutely beautiful black men in tight Underarmour, long braids and blinding smiles. Must be athletes. Pretend to watch other guy in self-check line so that they wouldn't see me gawking. They're probably used to it. So dumbstruck that I forgot to take a picture. Damn. Coulda been next imaginary boyfriends.
Is a crossword puzzle word. So are aglet, yser, essen and etui. Just seeing if you were awake. This week has been a bit of an olio (that is, mixture). Thursday night was a benefit auction for the Delaware scenic byway that runs along the Brandywine River. This area is locally known as "the valley" or "chateaux country." It is where the duPonts and sundry other old money families have lived for generations. New money, too, but not too much. Wouldn't be seemly. The area is gorgeous. Just over the Pennsylvania border is Chadd's Ford, where the Brandywine River Museum houses many Wyeths. Assorted Wyeths are well-known artists, but mostly Andrew. Here is one of his paintings, called Christina's World. I'm sure you know this one. This may be one of the worst duplications of the art I have ever seen, but use your imagination. Anyhow, this benefit is secret. Here is the mention on the site:Byway Stewardship Celebration
An art auction to preserve and protect the Brandywine Valley NSB
April 21, 2011
By Invitation Only
You would think that in raising money, more would be better, but that's not how it's done up here. The auction is in a really nice barn owned by just the right person. Note the plywood background in front of which the paintings are displayed as they are auctioned. The auctioneer was pretty lousy, so one of the organizers stepped in and did the marketing. She was very knowledgeable. Her outfit is the epitome of the horsey set: nice dress and rubber boots (Hunter Wellingtons, natch).
Paintings went for $1700-$5000. I was the gauche one who paid $5000 in an uncontested single bid. I love this painting. Again, a really lousy picture of art but you get the idea. The name of the work is Thaw Huddle. I spoke to the artist and he felt that the cow on the right was the quarterback of the huddle of the cows on the left. Speaks both to my love of country and of football. Besides, the artist, Shawn Faust, is my ex-nephew-in-law if you follow, and I really wanted him to do well. He does equine portraits, too, and makes a ton of money now. When he first started, he went door-to-door in my neighborhood hawking watercolors of peoples houses. Not only is he talented, but he has the hustle. He has donated 6 paintings to various causes this year and now he needs to paint for baby's shoes, so buy a lot.
Miss Glamour Belles. Watch recording. More cookie spotting. Feel good moment with brain surgery little girl. That's about it. Oh, but I learned about the Fruit and Vegetable Circuit. That's the Miss Strawberry and Corn Queen and so on. More expensive dresses.
Friday night. Stole chocolate Easter Bunny from son's basket before I gave it to him. Broke front tooth on icing flowers. Really broke it, right down the middle. Serves me right. Went to get that stuff from the drugstore that's supposed to stick it together until you can see the dentist. The instructions said to first make sure the piece fits perfectly. It did. Made little ball of stuff and put on wet tooth as instructed. Like putting a layer of sand in Elmer's glue between two parts of tooth. Scraped it out with safety pin. Realized I could just pop piece in and it stayed most of the time. Terrified of dropping it down drain, so made sure to close drain before executing orthopaedics. Now terrified of swallowing it. Leave it out overnight.
Saturday. Drove down to father's house with son and saw arrows to waterfront house auction. Fell in love. Overpriced. By a lot. Thought about it a bunch. Decided to buy only if a great bargain Attempted to close top on 1949 Packard. Canvas tighter than a virgin's, well you know. Father, daughter and grandson (my kid) all on project. Finally gave up and let it sorta hang there until it loosens up a bit. May have to wet it.
Easter Sunday. Brunch with 15 including dentist. Not mine. Had to get up to stick tooth back in about 4 times. Luckily the Ladies Room was right behind me and the dentist was sympathetic. Looked at house again. Great decorating job. Thought again and realized it was average girl with great makeup. Came home and decided that I love it here so much that I'm going to stay, even if I could have an awesome view of Oxford MD across the Choptank River. Invited to dinner with used-to-be-best-friend. She just broke up with boyfriend. I guess that's why I am now invited back. Boredom. Great dinner on possessed porch. Many gin and tonics until the tonic ran out. Like old times, but with more wrinkles. Why do they call them crow's feet anyway? I have seen crow's feet and they do not look like eye wrinkles. Maybe feathers would be a better term. Speaking of feathers, I have an insane robin nesting in both the window boxes and above the front door light. I'm not sure how she tends both nests, or why for that matter. She bangs on the glass like cardinals do, fighting with her own reflection. Must be the mother thing. Leaves disgusting white waxy marks all over the window. Can barely see out. Wedding anniversary. Still celebrate even though we are divorced. Forget to give son Easter basket to called him on cell phone (he is in bedroom 6 feet above me) to come get it. Used big duffel bag with three little bags that fit inside it instead of basket. Included lots of car maintenance products and some Peeps. Kid loved bag. Sorta like the little kid who plays with the cardboard box more than the actual toy.
Sewanee. Kid says he'll have to grow beard. Forbade him. Long hair? Okay. Know that peer pressure will result in a rakish sorta longer hair but definitely not Woodstock hair. Watched RuPaul's Drag Race. Love Alexis Mateo. By the way, the site has a Dragulator. If you don't know that, you probably don't know about she-mails either.Make hotel reservation for Carlisle Car Show. Can't decide whether to go Friday or Saturday. No hotel rooms for Friday, so Saturday it is. Good thing, because I'll be up for the royal wedding. Ponder staying up all night or getting up really early. Coverage starts at 3 a.m. At Princess Diana's, my peach of a boyfriend (the one who stood me up in Nashville) brought muffins over and we watched together. If I wasn't such an idiot, I'd have realized that was good for a couple of blow jobs.
Put tooth to bed.
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