Woody & My IBF

I read in a magazine today an essay on how many men is too many. The interviewees' "numbers" ranged from 0 to 100. The zero girl is one of those promise people. The 100 is a sex educator.  The others were 6, 20 and 30.  20 said that she didn't care what his number is as long as it wasn't too low. She'd be "turned off by his inexperience." 6 said she's secretly more attracted to women, but thinks her number is low. 30 is a slut. She keeps a database of the guys and their prowess. Her blog made her a public whore.

I lost my virginity at 18. I don't think I'm a whore, but let's tally it up:

• First boyfriend, the very end of freshman year of college
• Winter Dartmouth guy, had a fur on his bed, only once
• Second boyfriend at second college
• Drummer at favorite nightclub
• Graduate school boyfriend
• Guy I cheated with at graduate school
• Holder of Pike fire hose (see Mary Mary) after running into him on Columbus Avenue (rumors true)
• Second guy I cheated on with graduate school boyfriend, although we were sort of breaking up
• Best friend
• Guy who had crush on me in college, but only got together with in the city, once and it was pretty good (I'm not sure why it didn't continue)
• Working boyfriend
• Moroccan guy from Nell's, last time I ever did coke
• Husband
• Professor, lasted too long
• Guy I met on Craig's List looking for affair, once, not good chemistry
• Guy I met on Match, turned out to be crazy son of a bitch
• Celibate, eight years

And, I had hoped, my almost-real imaginary boyfriend. Without him, that makes, let me see, 16. Wow, that's neither high nor low from what I can tell, and probably a little low for my age. Oh dear, average. Not what I aspire to be. Since it can't be less, I suppose I need to get busy.