8:35 PM |
Another intriguing Wednesday night of High Glitz.
I am now acquainted with the sport's self-proclaimed best pageant dad. Whoops, he was actually granted the title of Best Pageant Dad. And he got a trophy for Best Legs. Why would anyone see his legs at a little girls' dress up party? Creepy. He's looks like an accountant wearing a hot pink shirt to match his daughter's dress.
His daughter has the smallest flipper ever made. She was 2 1/2 when it was done. And, he's told her that he'd give her a hundred dollars if she smiled real big. Or was that the other dad? We used to get paid for A's. In fact, my high school friend Michelle got a car with a bumper sticker on it: "It Pays To Get A's."
Another little girl is from the farm, just like many of the little girls. She has her very own pink 22. She shot a turtle once. She said it was cute. It was bleeding, she added. Mom said she'd never tell her husband how much she spent on the latest dress. Did you see how many guns he has?, she whispered.
One girl's name is Cealy (as in See-Lee). Her best friend's name is Salee (as in Say-Lee). We ain't in New England. How do their parents tell them apart? Cealy's mom tells her she has to make big faces, like Salee. Big, fake faces, she adds. She's the mom with the iron fist in the velvet glove. The teaser for tonight's episode is her monologue:
Do I think what I do is wrong? No
Do people think this is wrong? Probably
Do I care? No. (This is the Southern two syllable no-o).
The words of the day: sparkle (as in "sparkle, honey"), and sassy (as in attitude, usually taught by grandmothers called NiNi or Meemaw).
Pageant organizer, sotto voce: At the end of the day, 53 girls will go home with crowns. That's almost half of them. Happy, she adds.
Six year old arrives in a Hummer stretch, "because she's such a little princess, we want her to feel that way." This is the lady with the guns.
In order to watch this stuff, my DVR gets the end of My Strange Addiction. One lady eats toilet paper. The other one sleeps with her hair dryer. On.
I am now acquainted with the sport's self-proclaimed best pageant dad. Whoops, he was actually granted the title of Best Pageant Dad. And he got a trophy for Best Legs. Why would anyone see his legs at a little girls' dress up party? Creepy. He's looks like an accountant wearing a hot pink shirt to match his daughter's dress.
His daughter has the smallest flipper ever made. She was 2 1/2 when it was done. And, he's told her that he'd give her a hundred dollars if she smiled real big. Or was that the other dad? We used to get paid for A's. In fact, my high school friend Michelle got a car with a bumper sticker on it: "It Pays To Get A's."
Another little girl is from the farm, just like many of the little girls. She has her very own pink 22. She shot a turtle once. She said it was cute. It was bleeding, she added. Mom said she'd never tell her husband how much she spent on the latest dress. Did you see how many guns he has?, she whispered.
One girl's name is Cealy (as in See-Lee). Her best friend's name is Salee (as in Say-Lee). We ain't in New England. How do their parents tell them apart? Cealy's mom tells her she has to make big faces, like Salee. Big, fake faces, she adds. She's the mom with the iron fist in the velvet glove. The teaser for tonight's episode is her monologue:
Do I think what I do is wrong? No
Do people think this is wrong? Probably
Do I care? No. (This is the Southern two syllable no-o).
The words of the day: sparkle (as in "sparkle, honey"), and sassy (as in attitude, usually taught by grandmothers called NiNi or Meemaw).
Pageant organizer, sotto voce: At the end of the day, 53 girls will go home with crowns. That's almost half of them. Happy, she adds.
Six year old arrives in a Hummer stretch, "because she's such a little princess, we want her to feel that way." This is the lady with the guns.
In order to watch this stuff, my DVR gets the end of My Strange Addiction. One lady eats toilet paper. The other one sleeps with her hair dryer. On.