Woody & My IBF

I am in Bridgeton West Virginia. Me neither. I missed my exit by 80 miles. Not as bad as the Kentucky one for 150 miles but still. And I was really tired and Woody had been putting in a valiant effort but by 9 p.m. enough was enough. Left St. something which is near Winchester this morning, setting off to find the restoration guy in White Post. All I know is that it is down the road about 8 or nine miles. Hope I have right road. Passed Iron Gate. In West Virginia there are a lot of towns that are named after a landmark. I like that. It is something we would do at home. Pass sign Reefers Repaired. Now having been in the trucking business I know that a reefer is a refrigerated truck but it still cracked me up. This is Dinosaur Land. They have concrete models of dinosaurs and it is educational. I guess Jaws is old and educational.

Keep on driving with fewer and fewer homes or anything. Miracle upon miracles, sign to White Post. Missed it so turn around into development where the sign is. Note that sign is just there, it is pointing to town ahead. Turn around again and go through very, very small road. And wait! There is the white post! There is a white post in White Post! I have no idea which way to go from the white post. Feel like Alice in Wonderland. Try several directions. Really cool stuff. Old wooden garages for fixing farm equipment. Teeny, tiny post office, also old white wood with a green roof. Railroad tracks where they have a yellow road sign with a truck with lightning bolts coming out the bottom. I guess the tracks are live and high enough up that you can scrape your bottom. I do not. Cool old train station. I really wish I had taken pictures of everything. I'd love to have taken a walk all over the place. Anyhow, tried several directions from the white post with no success. Go to Post Office.

This is Johnny. There are a lot of J names that end in Y here in West Virginia. Johnny is one of the last gentlemen left plus he has a really cool shirt. Johnny holds my hand and earnestly asks me to dinner. He also knows how to find the old car guy. Head down the road and find this.It is very incongruous to the area as everything else is packed tight with hardly any driveways. The road is marked Old Car Drive. There is no sign on the garage itself. This is good because if a place has really expensive cars it doesn't advertise that. Maybe this is a good spot.

This is the side where I am to be Welcomed At The Office. No one around. Let myself into the garage. And what a place. Twenty or twenty five cars being meticulously restored on a shiny red painted concrete floor. All the parts are organized in labeled brown paper bags. I like White Post Restorations or whatever. Holler around. No one there. Keep taking tour and searching for life. Finally find some. It is Jimmy. Told you about the JY names. I introduce myself and put out my hand. He is wearing a blue latex (or whatever, I forgot what they're made of) that is full of grease and sorta looks down at it. I tell him I have been around garages all my life and shake it anyhow. He later told someone that he knew I was okay after I shook his greasy glove.

The greasy glove guy is standing in front of a machine shop. I know what a machine shop is. They make metal parts. Turns out that a major line of business for White Post is brakes. They machine them with a 24 hour turnaround. Ever hear of anyone turning a custom metal part around in 24 hours? Me neither. Run into other guys. Get to meet Willy Ray Thompson IV. This is Willy Ray. His great-grandfather started the garage to repair farm machinery and then came the Model T's and the rest was history. Willy Ray's father runs the joint. He is very busy but finds time to copy a Rolodex card for me for a guy that has woodie parts. They all really like Woody and want to take pictures. I later find out that they have restored the Rolls that won Pebble Beach a few years ago. This is the car. You have no idea how impressive this is. They did it in three month with all staff on deck. This is more than impossible. I am very, very, very impressed. There is a Corvette getting a little cosmetic work but it really needs mechanical work too. The economy is resulting in a lot of "partials." There is also a red BMW from the '80's that a lady with a big horse farm wrecked. It was her friend's car. To make up for it, she is having the whole thing restored. Now I know car restorations, and this will at least double the price of the car but car people do that kind of thing. Lincoln Continentals, oners, Hudsons. They do mechanical work, canvas, leather, paint, and who knows what else at the White Post. I'm guessing they have about 20 guys which is really a lot in this business. Willy Ray does the paint and boy does he know paint. Not a ripple anywhere. The fins from a pink limo have been chromed and he has to paint the trim right over the chrome. It is painstaking. Speaking of limos, there are five from the fifties. One is pink and one is light green. They have come from Kuwait. I don't think Willy Ray is allowed to tell me that. Two of them were family cars. Since Kuwait didn't have an enormous amount of money back then, they must belong to royalty or sheiks or whatever the ruling guys are called in Kuwait. White Horse advertises in Hemmings. I got my very old very beat up BMW from an ad in Hemmings. I wish I could have taken pictures of the cars but I am smart enough not to ask. Anyhow, Willy Ray shows me the picture of a woodie they restored, frame up. It is gorgeous and wins lots of national awards. Woody will never win national awards because he is All Go, No Show. There are lots of barns for other operations and I am delighted to get to see them. In the ladies' room there is a car of the White Post in 1927. There at least 40 Model A's and Model T's in the yard. The White Post is very cool and I hate to drag myself away. Willie Ray tells me the hidden Pentagon is right up the mountain there. Cool. Note to federal government: please don't erase this entry. I have a copy. Plus a brain. And I know it was you with the Area 52 entry from February.

Meaning to get myself to New Martinsville for dinner, take out map. Front Royal is near here. I have heard of Front Royal and it is supposed to have lots of Conferate stuff and antique stores. Take detour to Front Royal. It is as billed as well a Canoe Capitol of West Virgina (or Virginia, I forgot where I am). Passed Green Valley and the Apple Valley Beagle Club. There are a lot of valleys here. There are also a lot of lots for sale. Half of West Virginia is lots for sale. It is also a crappy day, overcast and cold, and I don't really want to walk around. Go to Visitor's Center to ask what to see. Shrug. There are lots of vineyards around here. I do not want to go to a vineyard. Get walking tour brochure. Did not take walking tour. In fact, did not even drive down historic streets. Find Element for lunch. I have no idea where I heard about it but I wanted to go. Got lost. Got unlost. Had a most outstanding lunch of pumpkin-sqash soup and half a J's Favorite. This is it. The soup has little chunks of potatoes in it which I don't usually l ike but these are really good potatoes. The bread is made here and is sublime which just the perfect crunch in the crust. Not enough to flake onto your shirt but enough that it is not the least bit flaccid. Maybe from one of the vineyards. The inside is curried chicken salad with a really thin slice of ham which is superflulous but a nice touch in that we are in West Virginia and they have hams. I understand that there is a "fine dining" restaurant upstairs. It is Apartment 2g which is really apartment 2-g. Wish it were dinner time and I wasn't wearing hiking shoes.

On to Clarsksburg. I had planned to take Route 50 straight out from Winchester as my ex-husband the Navy SEAL suggested. Because of my Front Royal detour, figured I would take 55 to 33 instead. Cutting to the chase, I eventually went on 50 because I couldn't find 33 and I was in the same general area in West Virginia into which I was sucked in February. I am usually brave but...

This is a gas station about 15 miles from Front Royal. It will be the last one I see for at least 80 miles. The reason I took this picture is there is great smoked meat of some kind as well as jellies and such, but the little sign by the truck is in Korean. I have not seen any Asians of any variety in all of West Virginia. Go figure.

And now the fun begins. I have no pictures and I am really bummed that I didn't take any but I was cold and tired and the damn Lasik means that I can barely see. Turns out that Routes 55 and 50 or whatever are not a straight shot. It is a 250 mile drive that goes up and down 9% grades every ten miles. The fall foliage is a plus, though. Pass Honeymooners Gun Shop. We all know what that means. Very touching. After a whole lot of time find a gas station. It has the old-style pumps that were around when we were kids. They are rectangular and have the handles on the side that you flip down. There was not self service in those days. Went in to find rest room and ask if I pay before or after I pump. The rest rooms are out of order which is a real problem and you pay after you pump. I spent $18.50 in the certainty that I would not run out of gas but with a little less than a full tank so I can find a bathroom within the next hour. It is excruciating. Decide to try GPS knowing that it will probably quit in about 15 mintues. True. Tried cigarette lighter on jump pack. Works! I now have GPS to find no towns between here and whereever I am going. Swear there are stills here. Now that I've been to two bourbon makers and Jack Daniels I know what likker smells like when it's cooking. More twisty 9% grade roads. Both Woody and I am exhausted. Pass Saw Store. It is very big. I am having deja vue. I am going to hell.

Cross Cheat River. I have been kayaking there and it is very rapidy and hard. It is pretty although I also seem to remember this is the Deliverance location. More twisty roads. Gas station with more old pumps and a faded Texaco sign. Guys with heavy canvas pants with reflective stripes around the legs. Firemen? Cute. Go inside and pray for restroom. Very nice lady points to the back and said it's not too clean though. It is old but it is spotless. And it is there and I can use it which is the important part. There is also an old enamel stove in the store acting as a resting place for miscellaneous stuff for sale. Bet they don't know that if the stove were for sale they could probably get a whole mess of restrooms. Pass sorta tiny cute brick town that looks like it could have been a train stop but is now abandoned in a good way. Very neat which is a big change from the shanties, stills and mobile homes around it. One of the buildings is Smith's Funeral Home and it still has the HOTEL sign in fading white paint on its side. Guess it's the last resting place. Sorry.

Seem to be gettig closer to actual town on GPS. Homes now have white tire planters and wishing wells. Goaround bend. Dairy Queen with the red sign but also the old eskimo girl with a fur-timmed hood. Land in actual town. Drive through actual town. Heading toward Clarksburg. Get to Ritzy Lunch which is really where I was trying to go. Closed. I have gone all this way an the damn place is closed. Lots of people in parking lot across the street. Mostly teenagers. Friday night scuffles? Group migrates toward street. Park. Turns out that this is a homecoming parade for a small Catholic high school. Emma is a princess. I know this because some boys have signs up. This is the Emma signs. Talk to Emma's dad. He said it was a good thing that Rizty's is closed because you come out of there smelling like Ritzy's. Mom says to go to T&L if I want a hot dog and get it with medium chili and french fries because they leave the outsides on and make sure to get ranch they make it right there. She then draws me a map on the back of her church group's handout. Complement grandma on Emma's beauty. Follow parade to get to T&L. This is very hard for Woody but fun nonetheless. They all peel off to lighted football field and I am tempted but somewhat tired so I go to T&L.

T&L is not exactly the easiest place for an outsider to find. Go by feel from the church bullitin map. There is no Wendy's to turn at. There is no Mack-Donald's. There is a Burger King. Back and forth until find Rosebud Plaza. T&L is there. This is T&L. It is one of those fifties-style places but it does have pictures of lots of local cruises so I like it anyhow. You place your order at the counter and they bring it to you. While I'm eating, they are vacuuming. I am sorry to close you down. It's okay, we're open until 9. This is a T&L hotdog with medium chili and fries with ranch. Dog pretty good but look at how tiny it is. Like the ones you got in the supermarket for your Uncle Peter's backyard cookout on Memorial Day. The fries were outstanding. Crisp which is usually not the case for the kind with the outsides still on. The ranch is good but I go out feeling like I have downed an entire bottle of Wesson oil.

Hit the road. Go back down toward Parkersville which is sort of a bummer because I was there before sorta. Pass place called Jane Dew. Jane Dew must be a very large lady. Have visions of liliputions staking Gulliver down. Pass place with weird trash things. Like the cubic ones that have the cut off corners and have a really big truck to come get them except they are about two stories high and about the same width. Pass Plantation Inn which looks like a very nice motel. It has about 8 identical white pickups in the lot. After about 20 minutes down the road get to Holiday Inn Express. No room at the Inn. This has never, ever happened to me. They sell out six days a week. There is a bus there. They sell out because of all the business nearby. As it is dark I do not see the business but I take their word for it. Frustrated and almost in tears call Holiday Inn Express reservations line. Very patient guy walks me through it. Have to get out and hunch over bench with my map because there is no light in Woody. And then the realization. I do not want to go to Parkersburg. It is the wrong way. Go back to Clarksburg to Holiday Inn Express that I didn't know was there in the first place. Very nice but the curtains don't close and I am beneath the big light in the parking lot. There is a workorder out to fix the curtains already. Why they put me there I will never know. Switch rooms. Freezing cold. Try to upload pix but someone is hogging the internet probably streaming a movie or something. Leave process going all night. However, this HIE has tea and lids and the coffee maker is not in the bathroom but the lids still don't have any covering on them. It's a hygeine thing. This is the beverage stattion. The fridge does not make noise and I do not have to unplug it. This is the tea.  I don't know why they put those shower curtains that have a kinda bow in them so you don't feel claustrophobic but then the entire volume of your shower ends up on the floor. Nice idea though. Note to self: avoid Parkersburg WV at all costs. Could be another Elizabethtown KY.