6:39 PM |
On the road again. This time to Angola Prison for the rodeo. Decided that even though I have nearly 200 posts that I have not actually posted, will begin posting here and then go backward so if you really want to know what I've been up to for the last three months you'll have to go back and look. And go back and look and so on because I will post them as I can on the dates they're supposed to be posted on.
So. Third road trip in 10 months. Brad is not coming with me. Supposed to hit the road yesterday but Ron The Hun destroyed me so much that I needed to take a nap and then finally got around to the bills which were 75% duplicates because I didn't pay them last month so there goes my credit again. I can remember how many miles the earth is from the moon (well not really but I can look it up) but I can't remember to pay the bloody bills on time. You know what I mean. Yes, you do that too. Unless you have autopay which I mostly do but the doctors' bills and so on.... Anyhow, threw all the newspaper clippings on the dining room table into a bag and tossed it in Woody. Note to self: figure out why I clipped them. On such a roll that after The Middle kept on going and couldn't sleep. Needlepoint belt with flying pigs making progress though. I am now sleeping with a nightlight which I haven't ever done before. I was leaving the lamp on because I am sort of afraid to go to sleep. I did this when I was married too and my husband would pick the book off my face and turn off the light for me after I hit sleepyland. Didn't want to wake up either. Decided to blow off trip for another day. Cleaned more, read papers and decided I wanted to go anyhow. Cleaning lady who is Chatty Cathy decided to chat to me. I asked her to stop. I am going insane and as I am also getting old I cannot remember what to pack if anyone talks to me. I am cranky.
Get list out. Jump pack. Shit. Last night couldn't find any power supplies for any of the five jump packs I have and the reason I have five is that I keep on buying them because it is easier than finding the power supplies. Put overalls in wash as I will not be gardening for awhile. It is a good thing that my washer has Canyon Capacity and a Heavy Duty cycle. Not to diverge too much but my kid likes his washer at school because it has three buttons: White, Colors, Dark. Asks me why I have so many. Women like it that way, I say. It's a control thing. Like men with power tools. Crank up Woody. He starts! Back out into driveway for loading. Trying to pack light but that is hard when your cleaning lady won't shut up. Remember both warm and rain boots and whole pile of various jackets and coats. Also Fodor's Essential South and Roadfood. And some maps. Forgot GPS in truck which is having its fan fixed and had to call ex-husband to pick it up. He gives me good luck thing. SEAL Team Six thing. If you have to ask you don't know. I'd have to kill you.
Finally hit road at about 2 o'clock. Stop at SaladWorks for last chain eats for trip (I hope). Also dropped of Hammacher Schlemmer Bug Vac which is supposed to suck up stink bugs and kill them with some kind of radioactivity or something. I really wanted it to work. This is the second one I had to send back. The power supply doesn't fit in the thing in the vacuum. I am having power supply issues. Really started driving at about ten to 3. Missed turn about 2 miles from home. Made guess on road I don't know. Pass Herr's Factory Tour! Never been there but all the kindergartners have. Note to self: take Lila Rae to potato chip factory store. Nine miles from home is the OCTORARA OTE. That's what it says on the vertical marquis. There is also the Miss Oxford Diner with neon letters that are kinda a cross between squiggly and italic. If I were really on a road trip I would stop at Miss Oxford. Note to self: see if anything else exists on this side of big road. Wouldn't really know. I only know my side of the big road which is the good side. There is also the Octorara Grill which has a similar diner vibe. Note to self: take road trip to Oxford.
Drive through familiar rolling hill and silo country even if I've never been here. Neat tobacco barns with those vertical shutters that are propped open to provide ventilation. Small chicken coop right on the road. Stop for gas and know I am in Cecil County because the guy had only one tooth. He said that if he retired it would be the thing to do, it being drive all over the place in a woodie. Hit I-95. I hate Interstates but there is no other way to get where I want to go. I hate Interstates because when it smells like rubber or the carburetor burning, you don't know if it's you or someone else. Also I can't ever figure out what lane to drive in. If I drive on the right, then I have all those merge people cutting in. If I drive in the middle people feel the need to pass me even if I am going the same speed. I really hate rest stops on the left side of the highway. When I come out I have to get a running start so I don't get trashed in the left lane.
Note Attractions on brown signs. Decoy Museum that I always pass and never stop at. Golf courses. Golf courses as attractions? Like I'm gonna drive down the interstate and say hey I think I'll play some golf. Also school that you send all the behaviorally challenged children to is a Historic Site. Keep on seeing signs for Baltimore for literally an hour. Baltimore is the Elizabethtown of Maryland but with a weaker force field. Escape. Stop to pee at several rest stops. All the Welcome Centers are closed so I can't get any clues as to where I might want to go. Do get peanut M&Ms though. Didn't bring any Tootsie Pops because I remember bringing a lot home after 40 days so didn't think I needed any. Note to self: Always bring Tootsie Pops. After going on I-whatever to I-whateverelse to I-whateverelse, began to feel like it is the beginning of the February road trip but without the snow. Check map. It is the beginning of the February road trip without the snow. Couldn't see it last time because of, well, the snow.
Smart ass 18-wheeler passes me in far left lane. I know he will get in right lane and do the same speed I am but whatever. Most rigs are very nice. All of a sudden there is this gigantic bang and the green semi has blown a tire. Right. Next. To. Me. I am stuck between the guy behind him who is veering into me because he doesn't want to be on top of blown tire guy and very nice white semi behind me who can't stop. White semi veers onto shoulder. We all sorta get our shit together and don't die. I can still hear the bang echoing inside the car. To top it off, asshole didn't stop. Or get off. Or anything. Finally a whole pile of semis kinda forced him off on the next exit. I bet they weren't very happy. Have you ever been next to a big rig when it blows a tire? I have. And lived. So there. This is not us. Thank god.
Return to cruising on I-whatever. See Holiday Inn Express in Hagerstown but it is too early. Hit Wild & Wonderful West Virginia. Stop at another rest stop. Welcome Center closed but those coupon book things in lobby. Find coupon for next Holiday Inn Express. $59 per night. Pass another Holiday Inn Express because it has the old green script sign and probably doesn't have Smart Coffee and Soft and Medium pillow. Look down exit. Has new H. Shoulda stopped. Note vision getting double as it is nightime. Note to self: adjust schedule to drive during day only.
Decide to find home cooking before getting to next Holiday Inn Express. Pull off at Groundstone (or something) Diner which was one of the more scary places I have ever been to. Checked map in parking lot and got the hell out of there. Can't figure out where all the trucks are going because they also got off at this really small exit and then disappeared. They did not stop at the diner which they say is a truck stop. Get back onto I-whatever and pass refinery/cement plant/grain silo/pharmaceutical factory/NASA launch pad. This is West Virginia. All I can remember about West Virginia is Huntington where my B&B was across the street from a refinery so I had to slip out in the dead of the night, and getting lost in Appalachia which we all know is pronounced Appa-latch-ee-uh thanks to Jim, Curator from Charleston. Hurry up to next exit. Realize I am running on fumes. Take left to Shell station. Woody stalls. This has not happened in a very long time. Shit. I have no gas. Well I guess I had enough gas to get to the gas station. Went inside to ask for dinner suggestion. PJ and Julian ask me about the wood on Woody. I forget to take their picture. Warming up on this road trip thing. PJ tells me there is a guy down the road in White Post that does very expensive woodie restoration. I will visit tomorrow. For dinner I can go to Mario's or the Buffet which is only okay. Mario's has good shrimp scampi. I hate shrimp (you never know what they've sucked off the bottom of the ocean) and I hate red-sauce Italian and I'm pretty sure that Mario's is one of those joints because its lighted sign is red.
Decide to check in to Holiday Inn Express. Show my Priority Club card and get free bottle of water. Use coupon for $59 room. It is usually $99 so that just goes to show you that you should always stop at Welcome Centers even if they are closed and just have stuff in the lobby. Ask the lovely Callie who will be on duty until 11 and then the night auditor will be on (auditor?) where to go for dinner. There is a family-owned Greek and Italian restaurant just down the road. Mario's. Go to Mario's. Mostly pizza and pasta but with very nice granite-topped tables and murals of the Mediterranean. Some Greek food. Decide on Lemon Chicken which is supposed to have capers in it. It does not. It does have three boneless chicken breasts and lemon potatoes all of which are insipid. Don't feel like eating much anyhow because of the Four Hour Body shit.
This is the lemon chicken. And this is the avgolemeno soup which I love but I don't love this because there is no rice and no lemon and chopped up industrial chicken breast. Shoulda had the scampi.
Go back to Holiday Inn Express. Asshole in SUV races me to parking space and pulls in through other side. Whatever. My room is on the second floor and is newly renovated. This means it has Smart Coffee. And this one has lids! I haven't seen lids before. But this coffee is in the bathroom and the lids aren't in little plastic things or anything even though the cups are. And you know what I think about coffee makers in the bathroom. Scrounge through Woody to find shirt and underwear to dump into tote so don't have to take suitcase in. It is dark and I have a hard time finding pj's and socks. Note to self: finally figure out how dome light goes on.
So. Third road trip in 10 months. Brad is not coming with me. Supposed to hit the road yesterday but Ron The Hun destroyed me so much that I needed to take a nap and then finally got around to the bills which were 75% duplicates because I didn't pay them last month so there goes my credit again. I can remember how many miles the earth is from the moon (well not really but I can look it up) but I can't remember to pay the bloody bills on time. You know what I mean. Yes, you do that too. Unless you have autopay which I mostly do but the doctors' bills and so on.... Anyhow, threw all the newspaper clippings on the dining room table into a bag and tossed it in Woody. Note to self: figure out why I clipped them. On such a roll that after The Middle kept on going and couldn't sleep. Needlepoint belt with flying pigs making progress though. I am now sleeping with a nightlight which I haven't ever done before. I was leaving the lamp on because I am sort of afraid to go to sleep. I did this when I was married too and my husband would pick the book off my face and turn off the light for me after I hit sleepyland. Didn't want to wake up either. Decided to blow off trip for another day. Cleaned more, read papers and decided I wanted to go anyhow. Cleaning lady who is Chatty Cathy decided to chat to me. I asked her to stop. I am going insane and as I am also getting old I cannot remember what to pack if anyone talks to me. I am cranky.
Get list out. Jump pack. Shit. Last night couldn't find any power supplies for any of the five jump packs I have and the reason I have five is that I keep on buying them because it is easier than finding the power supplies. Put overalls in wash as I will not be gardening for awhile. It is a good thing that my washer has Canyon Capacity and a Heavy Duty cycle. Not to diverge too much but my kid likes his washer at school because it has three buttons: White, Colors, Dark. Asks me why I have so many. Women like it that way, I say. It's a control thing. Like men with power tools. Crank up Woody. He starts! Back out into driveway for loading. Trying to pack light but that is hard when your cleaning lady won't shut up. Remember both warm and rain boots and whole pile of various jackets and coats. Also Fodor's Essential South and Roadfood. And some maps. Forgot GPS in truck which is having its fan fixed and had to call ex-husband to pick it up. He gives me good luck thing. SEAL Team Six thing. If you have to ask you don't know. I'd have to kill you.
Finally hit road at about 2 o'clock. Stop at SaladWorks for last chain eats for trip (I hope). Also dropped of Hammacher Schlemmer Bug Vac which is supposed to suck up stink bugs and kill them with some kind of radioactivity or something. I really wanted it to work. This is the second one I had to send back. The power supply doesn't fit in the thing in the vacuum. I am having power supply issues. Really started driving at about ten to 3. Missed turn about 2 miles from home. Made guess on road I don't know. Pass Herr's Factory Tour! Never been there but all the kindergartners have. Note to self: take Lila Rae to potato chip factory store. Nine miles from home is the OCTORARA OTE. That's what it says on the vertical marquis. There is also the Miss Oxford Diner with neon letters that are kinda a cross between squiggly and italic. If I were really on a road trip I would stop at Miss Oxford. Note to self: see if anything else exists on this side of big road. Wouldn't really know. I only know my side of the big road which is the good side. There is also the Octorara Grill which has a similar diner vibe. Note to self: take road trip to Oxford.
Drive through familiar rolling hill and silo country even if I've never been here. Neat tobacco barns with those vertical shutters that are propped open to provide ventilation. Small chicken coop right on the road. Stop for gas and know I am in Cecil County because the guy had only one tooth. He said that if he retired it would be the thing to do, it being drive all over the place in a woodie. Hit I-95. I hate Interstates but there is no other way to get where I want to go. I hate Interstates because when it smells like rubber or the carburetor burning, you don't know if it's you or someone else. Also I can't ever figure out what lane to drive in. If I drive on the right, then I have all those merge people cutting in. If I drive in the middle people feel the need to pass me even if I am going the same speed. I really hate rest stops on the left side of the highway. When I come out I have to get a running start so I don't get trashed in the left lane.
Note Attractions on brown signs. Decoy Museum that I always pass and never stop at. Golf courses. Golf courses as attractions? Like I'm gonna drive down the interstate and say hey I think I'll play some golf. Also school that you send all the behaviorally challenged children to is a Historic Site. Keep on seeing signs for Baltimore for literally an hour. Baltimore is the Elizabethtown of Maryland but with a weaker force field. Escape. Stop to pee at several rest stops. All the Welcome Centers are closed so I can't get any clues as to where I might want to go. Do get peanut M&Ms though. Didn't bring any Tootsie Pops because I remember bringing a lot home after 40 days so didn't think I needed any. Note to self: Always bring Tootsie Pops. After going on I-whatever to I-whateverelse to I-whateverelse, began to feel like it is the beginning of the February road trip but without the snow. Check map. It is the beginning of the February road trip without the snow. Couldn't see it last time because of, well, the snow.
Smart ass 18-wheeler passes me in far left lane. I know he will get in right lane and do the same speed I am but whatever. Most rigs are very nice. All of a sudden there is this gigantic bang and the green semi has blown a tire. Right. Next. To. Me. I am stuck between the guy behind him who is veering into me because he doesn't want to be on top of blown tire guy and very nice white semi behind me who can't stop. White semi veers onto shoulder. We all sorta get our shit together and don't die. I can still hear the bang echoing inside the car. To top it off, asshole didn't stop. Or get off. Or anything. Finally a whole pile of semis kinda forced him off on the next exit. I bet they weren't very happy. Have you ever been next to a big rig when it blows a tire? I have. And lived. So there. This is not us. Thank god.Return to cruising on I-whatever. See Holiday Inn Express in Hagerstown but it is too early. Hit Wild & Wonderful West Virginia. Stop at another rest stop. Welcome Center closed but those coupon book things in lobby. Find coupon for next Holiday Inn Express. $59 per night. Pass another Holiday Inn Express because it has the old green script sign and probably doesn't have Smart Coffee and Soft and Medium pillow. Look down exit. Has new H. Shoulda stopped. Note vision getting double as it is nightime. Note to self: adjust schedule to drive during day only.
Decide to find home cooking before getting to next Holiday Inn Express. Pull off at Groundstone (or something) Diner which was one of the more scary places I have ever been to. Checked map in parking lot and got the hell out of there. Can't figure out where all the trucks are going because they also got off at this really small exit and then disappeared. They did not stop at the diner which they say is a truck stop. Get back onto I-whatever and pass refinery/cement plant/grain silo/pharmaceutical factory/NASA launch pad. This is West Virginia. All I can remember about West Virginia is Huntington where my B&B was across the street from a refinery so I had to slip out in the dead of the night, and getting lost in Appalachia which we all know is pronounced Appa-latch-ee-uh thanks to Jim, Curator from Charleston. Hurry up to next exit. Realize I am running on fumes. Take left to Shell station. Woody stalls. This has not happened in a very long time. Shit. I have no gas. Well I guess I had enough gas to get to the gas station. Went inside to ask for dinner suggestion. PJ and Julian ask me about the wood on Woody. I forget to take their picture. Warming up on this road trip thing. PJ tells me there is a guy down the road in White Post that does very expensive woodie restoration. I will visit tomorrow. For dinner I can go to Mario's or the Buffet which is only okay. Mario's has good shrimp scampi. I hate shrimp (you never know what they've sucked off the bottom of the ocean) and I hate red-sauce Italian and I'm pretty sure that Mario's is one of those joints because its lighted sign is red.
Decide to check in to Holiday Inn Express. Show my Priority Club card and get free bottle of water. Use coupon for $59 room. It is usually $99 so that just goes to show you that you should always stop at Welcome Centers even if they are closed and just have stuff in the lobby. Ask the lovely Callie who will be on duty until 11 and then the night auditor will be on (auditor?) where to go for dinner. There is a family-owned Greek and Italian restaurant just down the road. Mario's. Go to Mario's. Mostly pizza and pasta but with very nice granite-topped tables and murals of the Mediterranean. Some Greek food. Decide on Lemon Chicken which is supposed to have capers in it. It does not. It does have three boneless chicken breasts and lemon potatoes all of which are insipid. Don't feel like eating much anyhow because of the Four Hour Body shit.
This is the lemon chicken. And this is the avgolemeno soup which I love but I don't love this because there is no rice and no lemon and chopped up industrial chicken breast. Shoulda had the scampi.
Go back to Holiday Inn Express. Asshole in SUV races me to parking space and pulls in through other side. Whatever. My room is on the second floor and is newly renovated. This means it has Smart Coffee. And this one has lids! I haven't seen lids before. But this coffee is in the bathroom and the lids aren't in little plastic things or anything even though the cups are. And you know what I think about coffee makers in the bathroom. Scrounge through Woody to find shirt and underwear to dump into tote so don't have to take suitcase in. It is dark and I have a hard time finding pj's and socks. Note to self: finally figure out how dome light goes on.