4:48 PM |
In my part of the world we have Zitner's eggs, cream, cocoanut (Zitmer's traditional spelling), marshmallow, peanut butter and Butter Krak. There is now Double Cocoanut. I just had one, and I think the only difference between it and the regular cocoanut is some crunchy stuff I'm guessing is cocoanut. You can only get Zitner's eggs for two weeks at Easter. I think the place closes down the rest of the year, but I'm not sure. I read someplace that Zitner's has this amazing rush of production, much like the red rose business at Valentine's Day. 65% of Zitner's sales are of cream eggs and and basically all sales are made within two hours driving distance from Philadelphia. They make 7 million cream eggs each year. That's a lot of Easter eggs. Lore says a woman was actually buried with Zitomer's eggs in her casket. Now what, may you ask, is Krak? Krak has a buttercream and coconut center covered in toasted coconut and dark chocolate. My CVS is already out of them. I closed my eyes and checked on Lance Armstrong's I'm-fit-and-you're-not site for nutritional information. Zitner's eggs have between 140 and 170 calories. That's, like, two or three Tootsie Pops and we already know that you can have 47 Tootsie Pops a day as part of a healthful diet. So, I can eat about 15 Zitner's eggs a day to be healthy and fit. Works for me. I just had my first three while I was standing in line for a prescription. I had to give the pharmacist the empty wrappers to scan. I suppose they aren't covered under my health insurance, but it never hurts to try. 
Zitner's only "official" internet outlet is pageneralstore.com, but Amazon and a whole bunch of others sell them. Zitner's web site is one page. That's all they need. Do not under any circumstances buy Asher's eggs. Asher's is also in Philadelphia and they make those gigantic eggs that your grandmother ends up eating, but they have no K's.
Philadelphia has a penchant for all things K. In addition to Krak, we have Tastykakes.
Even though they have $300 million in annual sales, Tastykakes is going bankrupt (Daily News headline: Kan Tasty Kake be Saved? Yuk-yuk). No one is helping except the loyal consumers of Butterscotch Krimpets and Kandy Kakes (see, the K again). Tastykake has a Career Opportunities section on its website.There are 23 jobs available. If I were Tastykake, I wouldn't be filling those jobs. Pisses the banks off. That's what Tastykake gets for its LEED certified building in the revitalized Navy Yard with all those incentives. Shoulda stayed where they were, like Zitmer's. Also, they are paying for the baseball stadium to put refrigerators on the concession counters so that the Kakes don't melt. There's gotta be some kind of additive they can put in there so that they don't need to ice 'em down. For a coupla years I lived a half block from the Eastern State Penetentiary. This is where Al Capone escaped. I think the idea of penance is pretty cool. Inmates were all in solitary with a bible and a round window on their ceilings that was called the eye of god. Basically, criminals were being put in a time out to think about what they did. You didn't know that you were training your kid for crime, did you? Anyhow, there is a well-known retsauranteuress (is that a word?) who let's them eat Tasty Kakes on Bastille Day. Here is the event.
Kool.