7:30 PM |
Took the I-whatever out of Louisville to Elizabethtown. It was dark, rainy and I was alcohol-fueled. I had planned to go to Peduca, because I could reach Marion for Marion Pit Grill, the oldest somewhere, and Henderson which has another place I want to eat (I'll have to look it up again in Road Food). Due to my key adventure, I could only make Elizabethtown in 45 minutes. I really wanted to watch the Super Bowl (Green Bay 28-24, I always bet the score, and I am often right). I would have stayed at The Dupont House, but I had a teeny weeny cathode ray TV, and I just can't watch football if I can't see the yard markers.
My Holiday Inn Express has let me down. It's more like the old Holiday Inns with better sheets. Also, I am on the third floor. I never stay on the third floor-- too much of a pain to carry your stuff. TV too small. Went through all the hotel channels and couldn't find the game between the black fuzzy ones. QVC coming in loud and clear. Called the front desk. Guy was the absolutely slowest checker inner that I have ever met. He reminded my of my ex-brother-in-law. The lady in front of me was definitely doing the midlife crisis gig. Pink suede jacket, tight indigo jeans, high heels and a magenta kind of furry scarf. Coolish eyeglasses and grey hair. Don't get me wrong, I think grey hair is beautiful. Rikki, my neighbor and Cheech Marin's ex-wife, has the most georgeous white grey long wavy hair. Anyhow, this woman has that flat butt aggressive thing going. Grrrrr, she says., to her imaginary boy toy. My imaginary boyfriend thinks it's skeevy. Back to the subject, 21. The channel is 21.
When I finally got the situation under control, it was half time. Good thing the Packers were up. KISS, Janet Jackson and MC Hammer were playing. How did they manage to get them all out of retirement at once? Especially with the cumulative pharmaceutical damage. I looked a little closer. Oh, Black Eyed Peas with Fergie, and Usher. I swear the Black Eyed Peas were wearing KISS costumes without the face paint. And what's with the bicycle helmets? Fergie had the Janet Jackson meets Linda Carter (SuperWoman, my children) vibe. Usher is wearing white hammer pants with spandex. The massive array of dancers were like the Blue Man Group meets Chinese Olympics. Oh! There's some Devo action, too. Actually, I kinda liked the dancers with their airline aisle light strips. I bet they know where there exit over the wings is.
After my Famous Bloody Mary, I was a bit thirsty. I went to the vending machines, which I have never done. They're next to the ice machines. Did you ever think about how unhygienic ice machines are? Sweaty salesmen with their big fat fingers grabbing the ice because they can't find the scooper or would just rather scoop it up with the "bucket". Those tan plastic buckets are one of the things I really hated in the old Holiday Inns. Every single soda choice was either caffeinated or hyper-caffeinated, except Sprite. They had Ski, which I had never heard of. Looked it up. Ski is only distributed here:
The vending machine also has Mello Yello. Remember the Donovan song? If you don't you're the over thirties that we older fifties and sixties said not to trust when we were twenties.
I let my XM boombox cavort with my iPhone. My iPhone will not charge or connect to my Macbook. I cannot upload the greatest pictures ever. I cannot charge it. Maybe it has also cavorted with my GPS. That slut. I tried to get support for the XM incubus, but it apparently does not exist in the universe as we know it. I paid some internet ifixya (I think), gave them my credit card for $20. Then they dropped my chat and asked me to pay for email support. I'm telling you, XM is the devil's plaything.
I have to get a new iPhone, I'm sure. It's not the cable, because my iPad works just fine. I think I jammed all the little wires in the connector inside the iPhone in frustration with XM. Good thing I'm in Elizabethtown. They have several AT&T stores. Those guys who work there are pretty ingenious in rejiggering cell phones, as they deal with this quite often. I once called Apple and told them I dropped my phone in the kitchen sink. They said you mean toilet? They're good, huh? Good thing my GPS is working to find the store to fix the cell phone that Jack built.
Almost-real imaginary boyfriend texted back (!). Thought you'd be crazy for superbowl? I have a few friends over to watch the game. Be still my heart: he still punctuates.
Packers won. Yay! Not that I ending up watching a single minute. Pocket not picked.
I did manage to remember to join the Holiday Inn Express frequent stayer club. They have me listed as David.
My Holiday Inn Express has let me down. It's more like the old Holiday Inns with better sheets. Also, I am on the third floor. I never stay on the third floor-- too much of a pain to carry your stuff. TV too small. Went through all the hotel channels and couldn't find the game between the black fuzzy ones. QVC coming in loud and clear. Called the front desk. Guy was the absolutely slowest checker inner that I have ever met. He reminded my of my ex-brother-in-law. The lady in front of me was definitely doing the midlife crisis gig. Pink suede jacket, tight indigo jeans, high heels and a magenta kind of furry scarf. Coolish eyeglasses and grey hair. Don't get me wrong, I think grey hair is beautiful. Rikki, my neighbor and Cheech Marin's ex-wife, has the most georgeous white grey long wavy hair. Anyhow, this woman has that flat butt aggressive thing going. Grrrrr, she says., to her imaginary boy toy. My imaginary boyfriend thinks it's skeevy. Back to the subject, 21. The channel is 21.
After my Famous Bloody Mary, I was a bit thirsty. I went to the vending machines, which I have never done. They're next to the ice machines. Did you ever think about how unhygienic ice machines are? Sweaty salesmen with their big fat fingers grabbing the ice because they can't find the scooper or would just rather scoop it up with the "bucket". Those tan plastic buckets are one of the things I really hated in the old Holiday Inns. Every single soda choice was either caffeinated or hyper-caffeinated, except Sprite. They had Ski, which I had never heard of. Looked it up. Ski is only distributed here:
- Arkansas
- Alabama
- Georgia
- Illinois
- Indiana
- Louisiana
- Missouri
- Ohio
- Tennessee
- Florida
- and KENTUCKY!
I let my XM boombox cavort with my iPhone. My iPhone will not charge or connect to my Macbook. I cannot upload the greatest pictures ever. I cannot charge it. Maybe it has also cavorted with my GPS. That slut. I tried to get support for the XM incubus, but it apparently does not exist in the universe as we know it. I paid some internet ifixya (I think), gave them my credit card for $20. Then they dropped my chat and asked me to pay for email support. I'm telling you, XM is the devil's plaything.
I have to get a new iPhone, I'm sure. It's not the cable, because my iPad works just fine. I think I jammed all the little wires in the connector inside the iPhone in frustration with XM. Good thing I'm in Elizabethtown. They have several AT&T stores. Those guys who work there are pretty ingenious in rejiggering cell phones, as they deal with this quite often. I once called Apple and told them I dropped my phone in the kitchen sink. They said you mean toilet? They're good, huh? Good thing my GPS is working to find the store to fix the cell phone that Jack built.
Almost-real imaginary boyfriend texted back (!). Thought you'd be crazy for superbowl? I have a few friends over to watch the game. Be still my heart: he still punctuates.
Packers won. Yay! Not that I ending up watching a single minute. Pocket not picked.
I did manage to remember to join the Holiday Inn Express frequent stayer club. They have me listed as David.