Woody & My IBF

Just before I left on this great journey, I was having just another day in the country, picking ticks from my hair and painting my nails. And being pissed off at my son. Graduated Saturday morning. First speeding ticket Monday morning. 82 in a 55 zone. 5 points. Second ticket Saturday morning. Failure to comply with traffic device. That is turning right on a no-right-on-red light. Do you have any idea what this will do for my insurance premiums? This is after he had the nerve to be a teenage boy in the first place. Do you have any idea what this did to my insurance premiums to begin with? To add insult to injury, said son did not reveal the existence of ticket one until he got ticket two with me in the car.

The current insurance card is on the kitchen counter. I had been meaning to put it in the glove compartment (when was the last time anyone put gloves in the glove compartment? they should call it the mobile junk drawer) since the last one expired (in December). $1500 fine, except the officer was very nice and didn't fine me. I think it helped that son explained that he was going to see his grandfather, which is true. Taking away car privileges is a real pain in the neck. I will now have to drive him to pick up the pizza and the Terra Chips. He has developed a new dish: Terra Chips with pepper jack in the microwave.

So how do you punish an 18-year old? Yard work. Lots of it. He will be picking weeds from the driveway, pulling thistles (this is more of an ordeal than you might first guess) and becoming Chemical Man. We do not employ Chemical Man very often. We have lots of poisonous stuff here and I usually just trust my apres gardening ritual: scrub with TecNu poison ivy scrub, scrub arms again with surgeons brush, then take a shower and scrub with a bristle brush. This works. I do not get poison ivy. So I figured that if I do not get poison ivy, I don't need to do all those steps anymore. Wrong. I am now fighting the itchies and the oozies. Even now. Very lucky I didn't get it on my face, as I am a full-contact gardener and on my hands and knees to pull the enemies. Anyhow, I am now employing Chemical Man. We use a backpack sprayer with professional formulation of RoundUp. Just so you know, you need a license to use the professional version. You may also not know that the professional version is just the regular stuff at double strength. Thus, you mix up regular RoundUp concentrate with half as much water as they say to. You didn't here it here. My kid will probably grow up with three ears.