Woody & My IBF

You ever go to the blood test place and the waiting room is completely full and there doesn't seem to be any actual blood taking? I do. My blood test place lets you make an appointment. Most people do not make appointments. This really annoys most of the waiters in the waiting room because someone gets to go to the top of the list for no apparent reason. It's like the Universal Studios VIP Tour that you pay a lot of money for so that you can cut in front of the ride lines except you don't have a lariat with a VIP tag on it. The blood test places should let you print out a tag to hang on your lariat so that when you go to the front of the line people aren't as pissed off. People like to know why something happens. It's hard when you need to find out your HIV or paternity test results like yesterday and someone else is cutting line for a vitamin D level.

Today I had an appointment. There are so many people in the waiting room that some people are sitting in the hall which is a mistake because you can't hear when they call your name. When you come in you have to sign in on the clipboard. In about 10 minutes (if you're me) or 40 minutes (if you didn't make an appointment), they call for your paperwork, insurance card and driver's license. I always wondered why they need your driver's license as you don't plan to take the needle for a test drive or anything. Turns out that so many people have lost their jobs and health insurance is so expensive that they need to make sure you are you and not your uninsured cousin Sal who needs that heart transplant. They have you fill out all these forms and have a convenient cup of pens that you can use. Now I don't know about you, but I don't want to touch anything that this entire room of sick people have touched. I use my own pen and lots of Purell. It's bad enough dealing with the coughing lady in the locker room.

My clerk/phlebotomist (the lady who takes your information also takes your blood) had me come back and wait while she got a new box of needles. I asked her if it's always this busy. Yes, but maybe more than usual today because it is raining. It took me a minute to make the connection but people come in because the blood test paperwork is getting crumpled in the bottom of their purse and since they don't know what else to do when it rains, they finally get the blood test done. My girl (I don't think you can ask her name because of HIPAA or something) said that it is just like an assembly line. I bet she was looking forward to lunch. She whispered that she'll probably just hide in her corner. Have a nice day.

I love the word phlebotomist. Sounds like coughing and spitting. A phlebotomist is a new healthcare professional who can lessen the load on doctors and nurses, according to Wikipedia. Anyone wanting to be a phlebotomist must have a GED and be "able to follow simple directions and procedures." They must have a minimum of one day of training. You make about $30,000 a year. This is a lot more than the $13,624 a year flipping burgers. You can get a GED for free. I say we should all be phlebotomists. Then they will have to pay MacDonald's workers $40,000. Economic crisis solved.