Woody & My IBF

Briefly interrupted by cataract surgery (not mine) and a television that has no red (also not mine). Missed Deadliest Catch. Luckily have it on tape (definitely mine). Blogger down. Write in Word which is probably a good thing, as I learned in Mississippi or somewhere when Blogger ate my long post. Swore I would always use Word. Broke promise. Anyway, here goes, at whatever date Blogger decides.

Starts with a bang (or lack thereof)! The Northwestern loses power! No steering! Big dock! Too close! No one putting down anchors! Edgar saves day by switching to backup generator. The regular one went to 220 degrees and that is too much. Edgar says this one will be legendary; it will go down in the books. Sig pissed that no one but Edgar did anything. Jake especially did nothing and he wants to be a captain. BTW, took 10 days to get their first load off. Way too long. Wannabe captain Jake set dogleg string. Tension mounts. Will it be good? Edgar bets 30 crabs a pot. Jake psyched. Sig likes topography so we’ll see. Tension mounts. Lots of tension mounting on Northwestern. Survey says, well, not blank. Okay. 26. Damn. Welcome to hell fellas, says Edgar. No more crab. Jake not psyched any more. Loser. Whole day will suck. Sig says smile. That’s not usual for Sig. Jake knows he is on hot seat. What the hell is that all about, says Sig of Jake’s pissy attitude. You can’t take it to heart. He does. Everyone yells at each other. No one feels sorry for Jake. Edgar is daddy’s boy and everyone hates him, shouts Jake. As far as I’m concerned, no one should be pissed at Edgar after generator incident. Jake needs thicker skin. It seems everyone on the Bering Sea needs to get a thicker skin. Sig tells Jake that when he’s captain he can’t control anyone anyway.  I like the drama on the Northwestern tonight. Producers must be happy.

Captain Keith on water for more than 12 days. Has gotten more blanks than the last 10 years put together. Crab in hold might die. Dead crab release toxin that kills the other guys. Whole catch in danger. Really bad weather coming. 28-foot seas.

Captain Keith is like a two-leaf clover with a black cloud over his head, he says. Moves again. Fourth time in three days or third time in four days or I can’t remember what but it’s bad. First Mate Gary says that’s why it’s called fishin’ or is that wishin’? Checkin’ for bad juju. No one wearing any different underwear or other good luck stuff. Lenny finds guitar handle from fight between Wizard and Time Bandit. The guitar handle was Andy Hillstrand’s. Toss it over. Doesn’t help. Lots of curse words. Now worried about safety, fuck the crabs. Worse and worse weather. Are crabs getting battered? Tension music. At the end f the day you don’t really have control, says Captain Keith. Seagull in galley! What? Good or bad? Seagulls souls of dead sailors, so must have been on a mission, with all the getting in the kitchen and all. Music rises in that pride kind of way, like God Bless America. Lots of crab! 75! 53!

Seabrooke starts pulling tiny catches, but first blue crab for some of the crew. Rock star status in danger? Greenhorn still sucks. Weenie. Didn’t take ibuprophen before he started like Captain Junior said. Says I can’t. He can’t. Please just throw him overboard, Junior, just like that guitar handle on the Wizard. Slides on his butt three times with big wave over side (the wave, not Josh).  Actually in bite twice (I know my nomenclature now). See, toss him over or the sea will toss him over for you. Captain Junior thinks he’ll be okay when he gets through this trip and gets mentally tough. We’ll see. Horn not filling bait things. Hard to catch crab with no bait. Still wuss. Leaves deck. Has crabber hand (new term). Can’t work. Quits. Again. Going to cost 80,000 pounds because his hand hurts. Horn in berth crying over pix of his family. Really wuss. Regardless, Seabrooke still rocks. I love Captain Junior.

Time Bandit sucks again. Really badly. Needs miracle like seagull. Captain Jonathan has mind spinning like Fred Flintstones feet when he’s drivin’ that car, says deckhand (I forgot which one which is bad because he is pretty sharp and I like him). Captain wants to go back to the place that sucked before (the slime banks, cool name). Huh? You killed a guy and you want to go back and put his finger in the blood? I don’t remember which one said that, but if there are more than one of them with this quick wit, I want to go drinking with them. T-shirt: Beware Saggy Old Lady Wannabe Time Bandit Groupie. Anyhow, sets 45-mile string. Big risk. Still saying no guts, no glory. Biggest gamble guys have been part of. Works! Angelic epic music.  Later, deckhand on watch falls asleep. Bad weather coming. My recording cuts off so I can’t see consequence or preview of next week. Bet it’s something. Or not.

Why do they have those lobster and swordfish shows? Like hamburger to a T-bone steak. I guess there’s always a need for Avis and Enterprise.

Captain Keith worried about safety in Prilosec ad. 1 pill a day, 24 hours, 0 heartburn. If only. Maker’s Mark ad: “It is what it isn’t.” Miss my distillers in Kentucky, you know those guys who wanted to look at Woody’s engine. One of my favorite pix.

Deadliest Catch just isn’t the same when I watch it on the wrong night. Cataracts be damned. Blogger still “unavailable.” Gotta change my underwear. Probably bad juju.