Woody & My IBF

Last night, the Holiday Inn nearly destroyed my beloved Macbook. I was typing and noticed that my lap was getting kind of hot (no, not that way, although I wish). The square thing that attaches the long power cord to the short power cord is about the size of 20 graham crackers stacked. I had a graham cracker burn on my thigh. I figured it was just the lamp dooley that you plug into, and the outlet itself would be just fine. Nope. Oh, god. I hope my computer isn't self-immolating, like an Indian bride who hates her husband. I tried another socket. Relief. Everything A-OK on that front. Bit of a noise in the background, so I unplugged the refrigerator. Was going to plug it back in in the morning, but I forgot.

I brushed my teeth (still only styrofoam cups, which I hate) and noticed that there is no Smart Coffee at Holiday Inns, only at Holiday Inn Express. These cups had little words in script around the rim: Espresso, Cappuccino, Cafe Mocha, Latte, Americano. Wow! This hotel has it all. Checked the little things that go in the wee coffeemaker. Just coffee, and not even Smart Coffee. False advertising.

On my way out, I told the front desk that they had a lawsuit waiting to happen. I told her the room had nearly fried my computer, burned my leg, and I was afraid of a fire. She said sorry. I asked her if she wanted the room number. She shrugged. Beat (that's be-at in Swiss to you) had finished his shift so there was no responsible management. No free breakfast. Didn't know the way to Graceland. This hotel is IN MEMPHIS ON A HIGHWAY.  Note to self: Holiday Inn Express only.

Time to hit Graceland! I took 177 pictures today, including the 5 pocket pix. As always, there is a special place in Memphis that sucked me in repeatedly. It was the Port of Memphis via I-55. I remember this I. It wasn't really bad, more like the tease of an octopus feeling you out but not doing anything about it. Anyhow, only had one u-turn. When I was pretty sure I had missed my exit, the lanes going the other way were absolutely at a standstill. I thought its a good thing I'm going the other way. Well, I had to go back that way because it was a u-turn.

Graceland is on Elvis Presley Boulevard (no surprise there), but Elvis Presley Boulevard is full of traffic lights and strip malls, and just plain busy-ness. The visitor center, a strip mall in its own right, is across the street from the mansion.

I always buy the VIP pass to attractions. You don't have to wait in line. I forgot that this is February so I basically got a $30 ticket for $75, but I did get the commemorative VIP badge. Graceland was the  biggest disappointment ever. You get to see a regular old 1970's home that some famous guy lived in, a bunch of rooms of costumes and lots and lots of gold records. And gift shops. Lots and lots of gift shops. On your VIP ticket are a bunch of little perforated tabs that are ripped off in each attraction, like it used to be in Disneyland when you had to use two E tickets to ride the Matterhorn.

We had our very own VIP shuttle across the street from the gift shops to the mansion. Here's Mott. It is not short for LaMott like our DuPonts are. It is Mott as in Mott's applesauce. We talked about colleges. His son went to Hampden-Sydney. His daughter-in-law went to Randolf Macon. The are of good backgrounds. I asked Mott if Hampden-Sydney was co-ed yet. Heavens no, and it will never be. Not until the government gets to it, I said. They don't take as much as a stick of butter from the government, said Mott in his gentlemanly lilt. Mott's speech patterns belied the southern aristocracy. He is retired from something. I guess he guides at Graceland for something to do. His wife probably wanted him out of the house. Anyhow, Mott explained that Hampden-Sydney was founded before the United States was, by Patrick Henry. All the schools were descended from this one, he informed me. There is a genealogy of southern colleges on the wall somewhere. University of Virginia is conspicuously absent. He asked the docent where the University of Virginia is. You see that little empty circle? That's for the University of Virginia. Thomas Jefferson thought that one was his. Mott's son wanted to go to W&L, but his grades weren't good enough. They told him to do one year at Hampden-Sydney and then come to W&L. He did one year and was so happy he never went to W&L. We arrived at Graceland and were informed that we VIPs could come out the back door, getting to see one extra room!

While I was interested that this was Elvis' house, it was more interesting looking at all the stuff that was exactly the same as the stuff in our house at the time, even wood paneling. Well to be fair, I don't think we had the stuff but maybe my grandparents did. Definitely my friends did. This is the dining room. They ate lots of down home cooking and had lots of fun.


The kitchen does look exactly the same as my grandparents, or maybe the Beiderman's. Check the oven.




Here's the living room. The white couch seats 15. Here is the stairs to go up to the private rooms. We must respect Elvis' privacy and not go up there.






 This is Elvis' man cave. I liked the bank of 3 TVs that he had put in when he heard that Jimmy Carter did this. Carnack the Magnificent and Tiny Tim were playing.

This is the pool room.
The torn felt at the back was from one of his friends trying a trick shot.


This is the jungle room? Are you kidding? It has a tiki bar and some fake fur on the furniture. It has green carpet on the ceiling to make better acoustics for when Elvis and his friends recorded some of his hits here (!).



This is Lisa Marie's swing set. We had one exactly like it. We always got our fingers squeezed in the hinges on the teeter totter kind of swing. She told us we'd be sorry.

This is Elvis' carport. He kept cars there.

This is where Elvis' dad smoked meat. Elvis used it as a shooting range.








This is his office. Note the typewriter and copy machine. My mother had the same typewriter. She used it to type when we dictated our term papers. She really wanted the Xerox machine.







There is lots and lots of Elvis stuff here. I like this stuff best.