9:10 PM |
I have tried my room key in five doors because I have no idea which one is mine. It is time to go home.
But first the errands. Leave Holiday Inn Express and see that there is brand new Comfort Suites across the parking lot. Wait for kid's call after class gets out at 12:30. Kill time. 1o'clock no call. At Post Office in next town over attempting to return some of his pants that don't fit and are flopping out of the squished Jos. A. Banks box and don't have packing slip. Lady next to me put the damn wrong money order into the damn wrong envelop and this is shit and so many expletives I have no idea if she is a ranting mad woman or what. Call Jos. A. Banks to get directions on what to do. They do not have my order number. They do not have me at all which is strange because I order a lot of stuff there. After 15 minutes basically hung up on guy. Go to car. Get Macbook out. Look up order number. Call Jos. A. Banks again. They have everything without even needing my order number. Fucker. I think that is a call center prank but hey what do I know. Will write nasty letter. Go back into Post Office. Post Office is now closed for an hour.
Text kid. Where is he? Resting. WTF? I have been waiting for him to call me after class and now I am hungry and pissed and out for blood. Actually text back FU. He texts back ?. Go to kid's dorm room. Make him clean up everything including vacuuming. See eight empty vodka bottles on shelf. This is kid who is on probation for public drunkenness. But don't worry Mom because I haven't had anything at all for three weeks. Now let me see. That makes 8 fifths in 6 weeks. Maybe I am out of touch but this is a bit much knowing that he has almost certainly been drinking a lot of other stuff besides what is on his shelf. Roommate still has rebel flag on wall and his dad is going to be pissed. I know this because his dad told me. Take kid to make doctor's appointment that he said he made in August. Take him to pick up the packages I've been sending since September and he is too lazy to take back to his dorm. Hug kid goodbye. I am still cranky and starving.
Three o'clock. Drive back to Post Office town but do not go in there because I am afraid of crazy lady. Eat at Smoke House which I know is a mistake but I am really really hungry.Park next to van Dixie Divas with pink boa hot-glued to rear bumper. I hate the pink cancer things but I hate women who think they are divas and are very jazzy with all that hot pink. Have buffet. This is it. It sucks. The food always sucks but in addition there is some kind of long distance running race that goes all over the state or the region or the country or whatever and there are teams. These teams are eating at the Smoke House which is why I have buffet. Will never get fed otherwise. Go out to car to decide where to go. I have missed Rice's Ham in Mt. Juliet by about a half hour. Perhaps I will go to Nashville and have dinner and stay over. Can't figure it out. Stay over and then breakfast? Can't figure it out. It will now be rush hour on a Friday night in Nashville. Oh fuck. Just go back to Manchester for night. Do not go to Holiday Inn Express. Go to Comfort Suites across parking lot. It is 4 p.m. and they only have king non-smoking room. This is fine by me because that is what I want anyhow. They don't have room because they have four groups checking in. This is not fine by me. Two are soldiers and one is a women's something. I do not want ground floor room do to creepy guy last night. She will put me on the floor with the soldiers. Take deep breath. She tells me that the housekeepers love them. As you may recall when I killed time while they shut the airport down because I just killed too much time and missed my flight, I stayed in a gross hotel with the soldiers from Gitmo. It was excruciating. Praying that will not be the case here. It is not. Go down to check that Hermes scarves are not sitting in puddle of water. Cannot find room again.
Meet two young kids with conspicuously displayed dog tags in elevator. They are unwrapping gum in unison. Was in elevator because for the first time ever I am seeking a hotel vending machine. I did not know what to do with myself at 4 p.m. because I am always eating or driving at that time of day. Decide on finishing book and taking nap. Didn't finish but did sleep. Woke hungry. Since I have never done this before, look for vending machine signs. They only vend soda. Go downstairs in walk of shame looking for junk food. At the Comfort Suites they have a Pantry not vending machines. Get a strawberry shortcake or cheesecake or whatever that pink thing is popsicle. Go upstairs and try to figure out route for tomorrow getting ham and mint julep. Earlier in day called Maker's Mark to make sure they still have julep in the store and if they can sell me lot. They do and they technically cannot sell me more than 3 liters but are not opposed to making more than one transaction. Get on mapquest. Maker's Mark closer than I think so can make both ham and julep stops tomorrow. Problem is escaping Elizabethtown KY black hole. There is no way to get to Richmond from Maker's Mark and still pass a hotel that is not in Huntington WV because we all know what happened in Huntington last February. Research every single town on route. Research Charleston. Bad hotel reviews. All of them. Don't want to go to Louisville as it just plain seems really far even if it is not really too too far. Research on tripadvisor some more. Three hours later decide to stay in Huntington. I will regret this for the rest of my life, of that I am certain. Also decide on hotel in Richmond from selection of places that are nowhere near where she lives. I do not have my HHonors number. Highlighted section on reservation site says that if I cancel before this cutoff date I will be charged $144. There is no cutoff date listed. Read it over and over again.
On the positive side, this Comfort Suites is very nice. This is the view out my window. I have never had a view out my window in a highway hotel before. And the window opens! I have not had a hotel window that opens for maybe 40 years. There is a thermostat and the HVAC is very quiet which was not the case at the Holiday Inn Express last night. Wifi is blindingly fast. However, there is no toilet lid which is really awful because you can't close it and put your towels on it when you take a shower and it is a potential source of really nasty intestinal maladies. Didn't even check the coffee maker. I told you, it is time to go home.
But first the errands. Leave Holiday Inn Express and see that there is brand new Comfort Suites across the parking lot. Wait for kid's call after class gets out at 12:30. Kill time. 1o'clock no call. At Post Office in next town over attempting to return some of his pants that don't fit and are flopping out of the squished Jos. A. Banks box and don't have packing slip. Lady next to me put the damn wrong money order into the damn wrong envelop and this is shit and so many expletives I have no idea if she is a ranting mad woman or what. Call Jos. A. Banks to get directions on what to do. They do not have my order number. They do not have me at all which is strange because I order a lot of stuff there. After 15 minutes basically hung up on guy. Go to car. Get Macbook out. Look up order number. Call Jos. A. Banks again. They have everything without even needing my order number. Fucker. I think that is a call center prank but hey what do I know. Will write nasty letter. Go back into Post Office. Post Office is now closed for an hour.
Text kid. Where is he? Resting. WTF? I have been waiting for him to call me after class and now I am hungry and pissed and out for blood. Actually text back FU. He texts back ?. Go to kid's dorm room. Make him clean up everything including vacuuming. See eight empty vodka bottles on shelf. This is kid who is on probation for public drunkenness. But don't worry Mom because I haven't had anything at all for three weeks. Now let me see. That makes 8 fifths in 6 weeks. Maybe I am out of touch but this is a bit much knowing that he has almost certainly been drinking a lot of other stuff besides what is on his shelf. Roommate still has rebel flag on wall and his dad is going to be pissed. I know this because his dad told me. Take kid to make doctor's appointment that he said he made in August. Take him to pick up the packages I've been sending since September and he is too lazy to take back to his dorm. Hug kid goodbye. I am still cranky and starving.
Three o'clock. Drive back to Post Office town but do not go in there because I am afraid of crazy lady. Eat at Smoke House which I know is a mistake but I am really really hungry.Park next to van Dixie Divas with pink boa hot-glued to rear bumper. I hate the pink cancer things but I hate women who think they are divas and are very jazzy with all that hot pink. Have buffet. This is it. It sucks. The food always sucks but in addition there is some kind of long distance running race that goes all over the state or the region or the country or whatever and there are teams. These teams are eating at the Smoke House which is why I have buffet. Will never get fed otherwise. Go out to car to decide where to go. I have missed Rice's Ham in Mt. Juliet by about a half hour. Perhaps I will go to Nashville and have dinner and stay over. Can't figure it out. Stay over and then breakfast? Can't figure it out. It will now be rush hour on a Friday night in Nashville. Oh fuck. Just go back to Manchester for night. Do not go to Holiday Inn Express. Go to Comfort Suites across parking lot. It is 4 p.m. and they only have king non-smoking room. This is fine by me because that is what I want anyhow. They don't have room because they have four groups checking in. This is not fine by me. Two are soldiers and one is a women's something. I do not want ground floor room do to creepy guy last night. She will put me on the floor with the soldiers. Take deep breath. She tells me that the housekeepers love them. As you may recall when I killed time while they shut the airport down because I just killed too much time and missed my flight, I stayed in a gross hotel with the soldiers from Gitmo. It was excruciating. Praying that will not be the case here. It is not. Go down to check that Hermes scarves are not sitting in puddle of water. Cannot find room again.Meet two young kids with conspicuously displayed dog tags in elevator. They are unwrapping gum in unison. Was in elevator because for the first time ever I am seeking a hotel vending machine. I did not know what to do with myself at 4 p.m. because I am always eating or driving at that time of day. Decide on finishing book and taking nap. Didn't finish but did sleep. Woke hungry. Since I have never done this before, look for vending machine signs. They only vend soda. Go downstairs in walk of shame looking for junk food. At the Comfort Suites they have a Pantry not vending machines. Get a strawberry shortcake or cheesecake or whatever that pink thing is popsicle. Go upstairs and try to figure out route for tomorrow getting ham and mint julep. Earlier in day called Maker's Mark to make sure they still have julep in the store and if they can sell me lot. They do and they technically cannot sell me more than 3 liters but are not opposed to making more than one transaction. Get on mapquest. Maker's Mark closer than I think so can make both ham and julep stops tomorrow. Problem is escaping Elizabethtown KY black hole. There is no way to get to Richmond from Maker's Mark and still pass a hotel that is not in Huntington WV because we all know what happened in Huntington last February. Research every single town on route. Research Charleston. Bad hotel reviews. All of them. Don't want to go to Louisville as it just plain seems really far even if it is not really too too far. Research on tripadvisor some more. Three hours later decide to stay in Huntington. I will regret this for the rest of my life, of that I am certain. Also decide on hotel in Richmond from selection of places that are nowhere near where she lives. I do not have my HHonors number. Highlighted section on reservation site says that if I cancel before this cutoff date I will be charged $144. There is no cutoff date listed. Read it over and over again.
On the positive side, this Comfort Suites is very nice. This is the view out my window. I have never had a view out my window in a highway hotel before. And the window opens! I have not had a hotel window that opens for maybe 40 years. There is a thermostat and the HVAC is very quiet which was not the case at the Holiday Inn Express last night. Wifi is blindingly fast. However, there is no toilet lid which is really awful because you can't close it and put your towels on it when you take a shower and it is a potential source of really nasty intestinal maladies. Didn't even check the coffee maker. I told you, it is time to go home.