9:43 PM |
What's that thing about how you can't really watch someone because just watching makes them change their behavior or something like that? Well, that is my pickle right now. I just plain don't have a lot to say lately and it really bugs me. I want, I need to be interesting. Or at least report on some interesting stuff. Ira Glass I ain't, but maybe Dora The Explorer.
I have decided to keep Woody here in my very own garage at my very own house so I can hit the road some more and get some more good stories. Next weekend (or I think maybe the following one) is the Pennsylvania Maple Festival. Yes, I know it's the wrong season. That of course, is why I'm going. This one is for the sap rising, not for actually tapping it and making something useful and yummy. Check this out: there is a car cruise (maybe we'll do it, first one!) and (drumroll) an antique tractor show! Tractors are farm machinery and you know how I feel about farm machinery. There is a Maple Queen. I was hoping to go see the pageant (maybe they'd have toddlers!), but she has already been crowned. What a let down. I mean, who has a festival without a pageant that wasn't like a billion days before the festivities? I suppose Miss Maple has to preside over her realm on the real days. I hope I see her in the parade.
Here is Eden Bertuzzi, the daughter of Beth and Mike Bertuzzi with maple royalty. This is the 64th Annual Maple Queen Scholarship Pageant and we all know that scholarship pageants call for marimba playing or other unique talant (as they spell it on the website), unless of course the entrant will sing. Which is usually. Guess what? Queen Eden (they really call her that) performed a vocal number from Wicked. I wonder if it was the one Michael Jackson sang. That'd be good sympathy strategy. She also had to compete in personal interview, promenade and a question and answer session. No word as to the content of the Q&A. Perhaps which tree does maple sap come from? The Canadian flag features what kind of leaf? And isn't promenade what the square dance record in the elementary school gym made you do?
Ms. Bertuzzi (isn't that a chain of overpriced spaghetti joints?) is Queen Maple XLIV. Sounds like the Superbowl. The other two are the First Maid of Honor and Second Maid of Honor. Those are the girls who help hold her dress up when she has to pee. Oh, that's at a wedding. The one on the right looks like Quinn on Glee (don't you think?), and is probably pregnant by the football captain. The one on the left is flinging nasty comments to Queen Maple XLIV from the side of her mouth. Probably something along the lines of be in the parking lot at midnight and we'll see just who deserved to be Maple Queen. Besides, I'm going to bang your boyfriend while you're busy with all your duties, like posing next to trees. the personal inteview, promenade, talant, and a question and answer session.
This pageant must be a big deal, though, because it was held at a sold out Meyersdale High School Auditorium. I decided to get a preview of what Meyersdale High is like. The school district's web site features, you guessed it, Queen Eden. I sense a Carrie moment coming on.
The Meyersdale School District has a Mission Statement. I never understood mission statements. They basically say we provide high quality (medical care, software, clothing, whatever) systems, allowing our (employees, customers, clients, partners, associates, whatever) a good and productive (experience, life, business, whatever). And did we mention quality? Has anybody ever written a more realistic mission statement, say, We at Bumblebee Restaurants strive to make a buck by providing as little as we can at the lowest possible quality while raping and pillaging our employees? I thought so. The Meyersdale Area School District is currently creating 919 productive citizens of the future. I suppose the auditorium isn't all that big. When I tried to find a pic, this came up. Maybe he will be a productive citizen in the future. Or a Meyersdale Maplette (truly- Facebook page on baton twirling).
Anyhow, I feel like I need to feed the voracious blogosphere or I will lose my very sweet imaginary readers who make my imaginary life so much richer (and save the orphans and the whales and fix cleft palates everywhere). Please bear with me. Lila Rae is taking a back seat to all the shoveling and planting and pruning and laundry doing because mother nature is not on my timetable. I will not allow my imaginary daughter to grow up with only an imaginary mother. I'll have to get Brad to babysit. Whoops, Brad is imaginary too.
I have decided to keep Woody here in my very own garage at my very own house so I can hit the road some more and get some more good stories. Next weekend (or I think maybe the following one) is the Pennsylvania Maple Festival. Yes, I know it's the wrong season. That of course, is why I'm going. This one is for the sap rising, not for actually tapping it and making something useful and yummy. Check this out: there is a car cruise (maybe we'll do it, first one!) and (drumroll) an antique tractor show! Tractors are farm machinery and you know how I feel about farm machinery. There is a Maple Queen. I was hoping to go see the pageant (maybe they'd have toddlers!), but she has already been crowned. What a let down. I mean, who has a festival without a pageant that wasn't like a billion days before the festivities? I suppose Miss Maple has to preside over her realm on the real days. I hope I see her in the parade.
Here is Eden Bertuzzi, the daughter of Beth and Mike Bertuzzi with maple royalty. This is the 64th Annual Maple Queen Scholarship Pageant and we all know that scholarship pageants call for marimba playing or other unique talant (as they spell it on the website), unless of course the entrant will sing. Which is usually. Guess what? Queen Eden (they really call her that) performed a vocal number from Wicked. I wonder if it was the one Michael Jackson sang. That'd be good sympathy strategy. She also had to compete in personal interview, promenade and a question and answer session. No word as to the content of the Q&A. Perhaps which tree does maple sap come from? The Canadian flag features what kind of leaf? And isn't promenade what the square dance record in the elementary school gym made you do?Ms. Bertuzzi (isn't that a chain of overpriced spaghetti joints?) is Queen Maple XLIV. Sounds like the Superbowl. The other two are the First Maid of Honor and Second Maid of Honor. Those are the girls who help hold her dress up when she has to pee. Oh, that's at a wedding. The one on the right looks like Quinn on Glee (don't you think?), and is probably pregnant by the football captain. The one on the left is flinging nasty comments to Queen Maple XLIV from the side of her mouth. Probably something along the lines of be in the parking lot at midnight and we'll see just who deserved to be Maple Queen. Besides, I'm going to bang your boyfriend while you're busy with all your duties, like posing next to trees. the personal inteview, promenade, talant, and a question and answer session.
This pageant must be a big deal, though, because it was held at a sold out Meyersdale High School Auditorium. I decided to get a preview of what Meyersdale High is like. The school district's web site features, you guessed it, Queen Eden. I sense a Carrie moment coming on.
The Meyersdale School District has a Mission Statement. I never understood mission statements. They basically say we provide high quality (medical care, software, clothing, whatever) systems, allowing our (employees, customers, clients, partners, associates, whatever) a good and productive (experience, life, business, whatever). And did we mention quality? Has anybody ever written a more realistic mission statement, say, We at Bumblebee Restaurants strive to make a buck by providing as little as we can at the lowest possible quality while raping and pillaging our employees? I thought so. The Meyersdale Area School District is currently creating 919 productive citizens of the future. I suppose the auditorium isn't all that big. When I tried to find a pic, this came up. Maybe he will be a productive citizen in the future. Or a Meyersdale Maplette (truly- Facebook page on baton twirling).
Anyhow, I feel like I need to feed the voracious blogosphere or I will lose my very sweet imaginary readers who make my imaginary life so much richer (and save the orphans and the whales and fix cleft palates everywhere). Please bear with me. Lila Rae is taking a back seat to all the shoveling and planting and pruning and laundry doing because mother nature is not on my timetable. I will not allow my imaginary daughter to grow up with only an imaginary mother. I'll have to get Brad to babysit. Whoops, Brad is imaginary too.